Necessary Change

My goodness. I had lunch yesterday with my dad at a cute little place on the river. Can't remember the name of it, but I had a nummy little Caesar salad with a salmon fillet. It tasted amazing. After I got home, I remember being extremely tired, and I plopped down for a nap. Next thing I know, it's the next morning, and I've slept for 18 hours straight. It's unbelievable; I didn't realize just how tired I was.

I woke up this morning and got to cleaning. Fridays are cleaning days, but since I was sick last Friday, the major cleaning hadn't been done for two weeks. Needless to say, it took me forever to get done. It's about 4:30 right now, and I started at around 9. Granted, I did eat lunch in that time, and also had a meeting with Jennifer, so I can't say it would have taken that long if there weren't any distractions.

I've done a lot of thinking today. After the conversation I had with Jen, I feel like I've really let myself go. I've been so disrespectful to people and been really irresponsible. There's a lot I feel that I need to improve on, and it needs to happen now.

Blah.. I don't know. I just feel like I need to be myself. I have a bad habit of molding myself into someone that everyone else wants to see. I go through these "phases" of complete change, depending on my surroundings. It's really quite unbelievable. It honestly needs to stop. I want to be me again. I want my family to remember what I used to be like. I want my friends to love me for who I am.

I wanna go blond. Honestly, I've wanted to have blond hair for a long time. And now with my shorter hair, I think it'll be a little more of a realistic possibility. Plus, I'm not doing it myself this time. I think I'm going to call Rocco Altobelli salons tomorrow and schedule an appointment. Time for change, once again.